


"Is it possible to love too much?"

by drugstoreperfume



Series: drabble prompts for the exy kids [2]
Category: All For The Game - Nora Sakavic
Genre: M/M, bc these boys deserve to be soft, drabble 2 of the alice writes' drabble prompts, idk whether to call this angst bc it isnt rly ?? its quite loving ??
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 10:38:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 735
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15884367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/drugstoreperfume/pseuds/drugstoreperfume
Summary: Nicky's drunk and missing Erik, and Neil's the only one who gets it.





	"Is it possible to love too much?"

**Author's Note:**

> Timeline: I don't know if Nicky and the twins are in the same school year because I forgot but in this they are - their final year at Palmetto has just begun.

“I think you’ve had enough.”

To his surprise, Nicky opened his hand and let Neil take the tequila sunrise without argument. Neil handed it to Aaron, who nodded in appreciation before drinking it himself.

“I just don’t know what to do anymore,” Nicky slurred sadly, rubbing at his wet eyes.

Neil handed him a napkin from the dispenser on the counter. “What do you mean?”

“I just –“ Nicky blew his nose, “I just really fucking miss him, you know?”

Neil, not knowing what to say, nodded and waited.

“I know I’ve only got one year to go but like, when does it end?” Nicky continued, sniffing.

To the right, Dan and Matt passed by the kitchen island, empty glasses in tow. Upon seeing the crying drunk man and the awkwardly comforting, way-too-sober-for-this man, they paused.

“Hey, what’s going on?” asked Dan gently.

Nicky sniffed and gave his face a thorough rub. “I’m just talking to Neil about something.” _Sniff_. “S-sorry.”

Matt’s eyebrows raised at the mention of Neil as the chief comforter, glancing between Neil and Nicky incredulously. Neil shot back a look that was trying to say _I don’t know what’s going on either_ but it may have come across as just panic.

“Are you sure you don’t want me to bring in Renee, or Allison –“ Matt began.

“No,” Nicky said.

“They won’t mind, Nicky,” said Dan.

Nicky sat up, eyes raw and red. “I know they won’t,” he said quite steadily. “But I want to talk to Neil about this.”

“Nicky, we could even talk to you –“

“Thanks, but I want to talk to Neil.”

Matt and Dan hesitated for one more moment before giving one another a look, shrugging, depositing their empty glasses by the sink and moving back to the Fox party. Neil, who remained, gave Nicky a confused look.

“I know people don’t usually go to you for comfort, Neil, but you’re the only one who gets it.”

Neil waited for more, but nothing came. “Gets it?” he enquired.

“Y’know,” Nicky said wetly. “Loving a man. Waiting a year for him. Missing the fuck out of him.” Nicky blew his nose again. “I know you think about it. With Andrew.”

Neil handed Nicky another tissue.

“I just miss the fuck out of him. I miss him so bad. He is my whole w-world.” Nicky’s slurring cracked and he began to sob helplessly into the new napkin. “Erik is everything to me. I’m here for my family but it isn’t home here – I just want to go and see him all the time – nothing feels as good or is as perfect as where he is.”

Neil listened quietly, at a loss at what to do. He didn’t feel like he truly _got_ any of it, but maybe all he needed to do was listen. Maybe that was all Nicky needed from him.

“When I’m not near him, a year f-feels like an age.”

This Neil understood. The pressing feeling of Andrew’s last year was sometimes suffocating. They weren’t the kind of couple who missed, and yet Neil felt the ache of missing. They weren’t allowed to love, but Neil felt the ache of whatever loving was. He tried not to think about it too hard, but there it was.

Nicky buried his face into his wet napkin and mumbled, “Is it possible to love too much?”

Neil turned from Nicky to Andrew, who was waiting just out of view by the kitchen island, waiting for Neil to come back to the party, or to the roof, or to wherever he wanted to go. Waiting to lead or be led. The familiar ache of missing, of _loving,_ filled Neil’s chest and he couldn’t help but considered the shadow at Andrew’s feet, how light and cold and boring the kitchen flooring would look without it. How the part of him that was human wanted to tell Andrew everything he felt, every rush of butterflies to flood of heat, but the part that was Neil Abram Josten (or maybe even Nathanial) wouldn’t, couldn’t let that happen. Neil was silent as he looked back at Andrew, as he waited for Nicky’s sobs to finish and his heart to reveal more of his woes, but his head was screaming the answer to Nicky’s the question, the reason why he _got it_ when nobody else could: _Yes, I think so. Yes. It is. I think it is._

**Author's Note:**

> thank u for reading my lil piece! please leave a comment down below with what you thought of it!! the writing prompts can be found on drabbledrabbledrabbledrabble - tumblr.


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